The Curse Of Parenthood!

I haven't been well this week, so no food has been happening in our kitchen, but I have another parenting post for you all, I hope people can relate!

The title is a little misleading, I don’t find parenthood to be a curse, but it’s not always this awesome ‘blessing’ that everyone makes out it is either.  It’s hard work.  And it’s hard whether you stay at home or go to work.  Now, I’ve only done the former, but I know plenty of parents who work out of the home as well.

The curse comes here: None of us ever feel like we’re doing a good enough job.  We always feel like we should be doing something *more* or something *else*.  And those without kids really have no idea.  No offence, but you don’t!  And yes, you might have a pet dog/cat/mousse/tarantula or a niece/nephew/young cousin/friend’s kid you see regularly, please, don’t compare that to having a child, it’s offensive and inaccurate.  There really is no job harder than being a parent.  I’ve had a few jobs in my time and the hardest was a walk in the park in comparison to having a child.  I’m not saying that working isn’t hard, stressful, makes you lose sleep, stresses you out, I know.  And I’m not saying my life is harder or more important than yours, for me, being a parent is by far my most challenging, and rewarding role.  And before having a child I was ignorant enough to think I knew what it would be like.

Being a stay at home mum was going to be so amaaaazing.  And it is.  BUT.  It’s not sleep ins and happy baking days together and cleaning the house while your child has 4 hours of sleep in the day and pedicures and hairdresser and masseuse appointments, and presenting Vego Papa with a three course meal of delicacies that I grew then harvested then painstakingly baked while Vego Sausage slept in a sling or bouncer.  No.  Sometimes it is showerless days.  Greasy hair.  Hairy legs.  Being stuck under a feeding baby all day, often covered in miscellaneous bodily fluids.  Sometimes it’s week’s worth of meltdowns and tantrums. Some days I really don’t get a lot done other than keeping my kid alive.  And if we dare complain about how we are tired or feeling under the weather, people think ‘get over it, it’s not like you’ve got a *real* job anyway’.

Now, it’s also not a walk in the park for those who go back to paid work – whether by choice or out of financial necessity.  These parents have a whole lot of their own stress and guilt – about putting their kids in day-care, about not being the ‘dream’ stay at home parent.  They feel like they aren’t being a good enough parent a lot of the time because they’re not there with their kids 24/7.  And they have the added pressure of having to get up and go to work on limited sleep, possibly covered in miscellaneous bodily fluids…and if they dare complain that they’re tired or feeling under the weather, people think ‘get over it, you’re living the dream of working and parenting’.

Before having kids, I was one of those horrendously ignorant childless people who thought that parents had it easy.  I didn’t understand those who complained about how hard it was.  I wanted my own children and thought those who complained were taking their lives for granted and being ‘whingers’.  I mean, you just get to play with babies all day, how fun!!  How can you not have the time and energy to keep your house clean and wash your hair!  What do you do all day anyway?!?  Well, now I know!  And to those of you who are fellow parents, I applaud you, I apologise if I ever looked at you and thought ‘really, trackies in public?’ now I look at you and go ‘awesome, you left the house today!’ or if I ever wondered what you did all day, or looked at your tantruming child and thought ‘wow, what a brat’, now I think ‘it’s not me today’ and hopefully offer you a smile or ask if you need a hand.

To those who are yet to have kids, please try to give us parents a break.  If you ever have kids you’ll know what I’m talking about.  You’ll know that walking this path isn’t for the fainthearted.  You’ll know what your kindness as a childless person means to those of us with kids when you offer us a hand, or a kind ear to vent our worries, sometimes we only have our kids to talk to for the day, and they don’t get it like other grownups do!  Please forgive us for not having anything more exciting to talk about than our kids…we honestly don’t, they are awesome to us, they are our life and they are exciting to us, we’re sorry if they bore you, but we honestly don’t have a lot else going on, hopefully you’ll get it one day.  And please don’t begrudge us the right to complain about our *job* every now and then, we know we’re lucky, we know we’re blessed, but we really don’t sit around all day sipping lattes watching sitcoms, our jobs count too.